Robert Cook / Living Testimony - SCI Survivor
Hello! My name is Robert Cook. On November 6, 1999, I was in an altercation with a guy. He ended up pulling out a gun and shooting me. I could see fire come from the gun and instantly everything froze. It's like I went to the ground in slow motion. When I tried to get up I realized that I couldn't move at all. I had heard about out of body experiences, but I have to tell it like it happened. As I lay there it was like I was looking at myself and thinking that there was no way that I could survive such a tragedy. As I got to the hospital I told my father to be strong for the family because I was going to a better place. In the operating room the doctors discovered that the bullet had torn 90% of the main artery in my neck. The hospital didn't have a doctor who was able to fix that artery. Then one doctor remembered a friend in Atlanta who could help. They sent me on a helicopter from Columbus, Georgia, to Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta.
The surgery to repair the artery was a success. After two weeks in Grady Memorial I started coming to. Even though my family said that I had been responsive to them during the first two weeks I was hospitalized, I didn’t remember anything that happened after being in the helicopter. After I woke up the doctors explained that I had been shot in the neck and that the bullet had hit my spinal cord at the C7 level after tearing through my main artery. They said I was a quadriplegic with a complete injury and that if I got any more function back, it would be limited.
When the doctors told me this everyone in my hospital room was waiting for me to break down. But the first thing I said was that I didn't want to press charges against the guy who shot me. Everyone looked at me like I had a brain injury as well as the spinal cord injury. As I was lying there in that hospital bed paralyzed from the neck down, something was happening to me, even though I couldn’t explain it. The only thing I knew then is that God says that you can't be forgiven unless you forgive, and so I wanted to forgive the man who shot me. And when I did, even though I was flat on my back, not able to move, I was happy.
The doctors in the hospital told me I was in denial because everyone with a severe injury has to go through a grieving process, and denial is the first step in the process. Now, almost six years later, I joke about how long this denial is going to last because I'm still happy. That's why I tell people that I didn't start living until after I was shot. I've come to understand the true meaning of life. No matter what situation we face, we can still enjoy life. Even flat on my back paralyzed, I can smile and make someone's life brighter. I now have what I didn’t have before I became a quadriplegic. Some people call it the joy of the Lord. My relationship with God has given me meaning, purpose, strength, peace, and joy.
I can understand why doctors don't encourage spinal cord injury survivors to expect too much by way of recovery. If we fix ourselves on improving rapidly and it doesn't happen, then we may ask ourselves, “What’s the use?” and give up altogether. But I would encourage anyone in my situation to always work toward getting better. You also need to learn to love yourself, no matter what your physical condition. If you can love yourself, that will keep you going through the bad and the good. I have the same smile today that I had when I couldn't move at all.
And after you can love yourself the way you are, don't put a time limit on your progress toward recovery. One thing that I've come to see is that society will try to handicap us survivors. But we need to know that we are the only ones who can really handicap ourselves. You may be physically challenged but you can still overcome if you don't give up. Learn to overcome your physical loss by increasing your mental strength and your inner desire to live life to the fullest.
I left rehab on March 25, 2000, and on June 1, 2000, I moved into my own apartment. Since then I've taken care of myself – cooking, cleaning, in fact doing almost everything but changing the light bulbs. And I'm close to being able to do that because I can now wear leg braces, something that my doctors said would be humanly impossible with my level of injury (C7 complete). You see, with a whole lot of hard work and many falls, I now have trunk control and increasing leg strength. But if I don't improve any further, I still know how beautiful and precious life is and I choose to take advantage of it. I don't allow anything to hold me back. I now work as an ordained minister and I drive a car by using hand controls. I don’t believe that there's anything that I can't do. So I end by encouraging you to never look at yourself as being handicapped, but only as being physically challenged. And be willing to welcome every challenge with joy and confidence. You have much life to live, so live it to the fullest!!!!!!!!!
- Robert